


Love

by mansklig



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Desus - Freeform, Desus oneshot, M/M, darus - Freeform, daryl doesn't wanna hurt jesus, smut and all that hot shit, still manages to do it tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 15:54:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15294912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansklig/pseuds/mansklig
Summary: "I- didn't mean to." Daryl muttered, breaking the silence. He cleared his voice, that has gone hoarse all of a sudden, then added, quietly,"y'know, what i said to Rick, didn't mean for it sound the way it did."the way you sounded disgusted, you mean?Jesus smiled, responding shortly after."Doesn't matter."





	Love

Jesus didn't understand. He was completely and utterly confused. Why the fuck was Daryl making things so complicated?

Sure, he knew the older man's actions were often enveloped with insecurity and hesitancy, but that wasn't how it should be with him. Paul has been obvious- _hell_ , he has been more than that, shamelessly and audaciously displaying his feelings towards the archer, trying to make him grasp the idea, that he liked him so much it almost  _hurt_ , that he didn't just want a good fuck or someone to mess around with when he wanted to relieve some stress.

 _No_. He wanted the whole package, he wanted Daryl with everything- the stubbornness and difficulty and awkwardness and just all of Daryl. Jesus doesn't remember wanting that in a long time, even before the world went to shit, he hasn't wanted what he's been craving from Daryl for a really long time.

But apparently that was too much to ask for from the Dixon. Because as soon as Jesus pours his heart out to the hunter, trying to make him understand how much he meant to him, trying to make him comprehend that they have to figure this out together and  _communicate_  instead of ignoring each other like stupid high school kids, the man flees out of the trailer.

"Fine! Be like that Daryl!" Jesus shouts to the archer's fading figure, not giving a damn about waking the people up. He closed the door with all his force, sadness coming over him. Maybe he should just stop, maybe Daryl just didn't want whatever Jesus was asking for- maybe he didn't even have it in  _him_.

But then he remembers the way he touched him, the way he called him Paul. How he wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed him like his life was relying on it, like all the answers to the universe where hidden deep somewhere between their tongues. He remembers how Daryl kissed his jaw and nose and eyes and every  _place_  he could get his mouth to, he remembers how he inhaled the scent of his hair, then slowly pushed it over his neck to peck and ravish the sensitive skin.

Jesus shuddered at the memory, for a long time, he felt like whatever was between them was so much more than just sex. How could it be, with Daryl being so passionate and intense, he wouldn't act that way if he didn't feel anything for him. Normal people didn't do the stupid shit Daryl did when they had sex, he would blabber about things he loved about Paul, complimenting his eyes and constantly attaching their lips as he pushed inside him, making Paul roll his eyes to the back of his head with pleasure, as streams of filthy words left his sinful lips.

And all those things, all those stupid things Daryl kept doing made him think that maybe- just maybe, Daryl felt something he was too afraid to acknowledge. 

So Jesus spent the night laying on the bed, replaying the same persuading words to himself, the words that reassured his heart every time Daryl wouldn't.

_Time, all he needs is time. He'll come around._

.

.

2 weeks later, Daryl doesn't come around, so Jesus doesn't talk to Daryl, he doesn't even acknowledge the hunter's presence. It doesn't seem to bother the other guy, because he seems to be doing the same thing. Much to Daryl's dismay, Rick notices that something has been off between these two, the usual banter and bickering between them was nonexistent now, and it kind of worried him.

"So i've been planning on going to this run, there's a small pharmacy me and Michonne found last time, just didn't have time to go there before dusk." Rick started, they were in the conference room, the usual people sitting and listening to what Rick had to say. Daryl made sure to sit as far away from Jesus as he can, and Jesus acted like he didn't care, taking an even farther seat; proving Rick's point.

"So Daryl, i was thinking if you can take Jesus and go- figure you'd do this quic-"

"Nah- i'll go by m'self." Daryl said, interrupting Rick, who looked really startled.

"No one goes by themselves Daryl."

"Will take Glenn then." Daryl said. This time, it wasn't just Rick that looked startled. Jesus could see the frown mirroring everyone's face.

"Glenn already has things to d-"

"Man i ain't goin' with Rovia alright, jus'- search for someone- Rosita or somethin'." Daryl muttered, clearly pissed off from the way he spit 'Rovia' .

"You're being awfully rude Daryl, i thought you loved my company." Jesus said, fake enthusiasm coating his voice. It was obvious, the hurt and embarrassment that got plastered on his face when Daryl opposed to going with him.

"Rosita is scheduled on a run with Abraham first thing tomorrow morning. Michonne and I went to the last run, and i'm sure Maggie can't go with you with her baby belly in front of her, can she Daryl? So, you're going with Jesus, pack your stuff, car's waiting. If you leave now you'll be back before the sun sets."

And with that, the meeting was over with and everyone dispersed.

"Jesus- wait!" Maggie called on him, trying to catch onto the scout that was heading to his trailer. He turned to her, smiling,

"Yeah?"

"What in the hell was that?" She asked, obviously a little annoyed about the archer's attitude.

"What was what?" Jesus wasn't in the mood for this talk, he already felt like shit, and the fact that he was spending the rest of the day in the presence of Daryl, who suddenly seems to loathe him, wasn't helping.

"Don't play dumb with me, you know! What happened with you two?"

"I'm pretty sure that this question shouldn't be aimed at me." Jesus said, before walking away. He was just exhausted, and talking to Maggie about the fucked up thing that was making the hunter act like that was just going to wear him out.

Plus, this was not his fault, he isn't the one who snapped all of a sudden, he doesn't owe anyone an explanation. They don't get to come and start barging him with questions just because talking to him is easier than Daryl.

In five minutes, Jesus was walking to the car they were taking. Daryl was already there, checking the engine one last time to make sure they don't get any surprises on the road.

Rick was standing above him, talking about what the priorities were. His voice became clearer as Jesus neared them.

"Medicine Daryl, thats all we need right now." Rick said,

"We're going to a pharmacy Rick, s'all there's medicine."

"Not necessarily, did you write a list, Rick?" Jesus said, interrupting.

"Yeah, already with Daryl. Be careful, both of you."  Rick said, patting Jesus's back. Daryl shut the car's hood, wiping his hands to his jeans.

"Will be back before y'know it." Daryl muttered, before getting into the drivers seat.

And then they took off.

The silence was sickening, air filled with loathsome unspoken words and  broken promises that were never made. Daryl felt like shit, and Jesus didn't feel any better, but none of them spoke about what they felt. Well, Jesus used to do the speaking, but he doesn't think he's in a position to speak, about anything, to Daryl, anymore at least. He gets it, the guy didn't want whatever Paul has offered.

Sure, he shouldn't have been an ass about it, could have said it to his face before acting all lovey-dovey with him, but asshole people still exist, even if its the end of the world.

"I- didn't mean to." Daryl muttered, breaking the silence. He cleared his voice, that has gone hoarse all of a sudden, then added, quietly,

"y'know, what i said to Rick, didn't mean for it sound the way it did."

_the way you sounded disgusted, you mean?_

Jesus smiled, responding shortly after.

"Doesn't matter."

Daryl didn't like the response he got, but the lump that has formed in his throat stopped him from voicing any other thoughts that raced through his brain. He got it, Paul was going to stop, he was going to stop caring about him the way he did, he was going to make Daryl just like any other human in their camp. A person he won't want dying, but one he won't hurt over. Just another human.

Daryl forced himself to think that, yes, that's what he wanted. He didn't want any of the lovey-dovey things that Paul wanted, he didn't want to get attached to someone only to lose him days or weeks or months or even years later. He didn't want to go through the heartache. He's gone his whole life without  _this_. Without what Paul has offered, he can keep living without it.

But god, his heart was beating so hard he felt it pushing against his throat. The thought of not getting to touch the other man in the ways he used to for the past weeks before his flee scared him, and just the thought of Paul finding someone else to take his place, to relieve him from the  _stress,_ to _touch_ himthe way only Daryl did, to  _kiss_  him and  _breathe_  him and  _join_  with him and  _trace_  his fingers on him, the thought alone had Daryl's heart burning with misery.

"No." Daryl said,

"What?" Jesus said, eyes squinting.

"It does, does matter to me." Daryl said, barely finding his voice to croak the words.

Paul was annoyed, he knows where this is going. But no, Daryl doesn't get to do that, he doesn't get to act the way he wants to, talking about what matters to him only when he wants to, and then ignoring Jesus whenever he wants to.

"Too bad, it doesn't to me." Paul spit the words, cold more than harsh, yet managing to hurt Daryl even more.

He can say so much shit-

 _Oh,_ he can say so much fucking shit that'll twist the hunter's heart in agony, and for a second, he wants to, he wants to hurt him for playing with his feelings the way he has been.  For spending the night cuddled up to his side when it suited him, for talking about his life before the world went to shit, encouraging Paul to speak in return, for making him open up to him after he built his walls so high. 

He gets a grip of himself when he sees Daryl's knuckles turning white, the way he's been holding the steering wheel, Jesus was surprised it didn't break yet. They don't speak until they reach the pharmacy.

The door is open, and when they're inside, it looks like the place has already been looted. They move around for a while, checking the drawers and taking whatever they think of as useful.

"Daryl." Jesus calls, he was in front of a door that had "DEAD INSIDE" written on it. They could clearly hear the ugly grunting and moaning.

"Four, maybe five at most." Daryl said, head close to the door. He nods towards Jesus, before setting his crossbow aside and pulling the sharp knife. He breaks the handle and the door bursts open, and in under a minute, they've taken care of the four- almost rotten- walkers. Daryl moves to the neighboring room, signaling to Jesus that it was clear.

He doesn't see it when it lunges at him, pushing him face first into the floor. Daryl pushes him off of him as soon as he breaks out of the shock, and his hands are frantically moving, searching for the knife that fell out of his hands. The walker is fast, clothes almost clean and skin the closest to normal, it was obvious he recently turned, which wasn't really in Daryl's favor.

"Fucking hell!" Daryl mutters as the dead man jumps on him again, gripping his shoulder with his hands, digging into the piece of fabric. Daryl's hands are holding the man from his neck, pushing him away in an attempt to get ahold of the knife he spotted on the floor behind him.

He's waiting for Jesus to burst inside and take care of the gorilla that was laying on top of him, but it seems that the other guy is really busy with something, because he doesn't show up. After some struggling, and possibly getting scratched, Daryl pulls the thin table's leg, and the pens scatter into the floor. He pulls the closest one, and pushes it right inside the eyeball. The dead man goes still above him, and he allows himself to collapse.

"Daryl you o- Shit!" Jesus rushes to his side, pulling the heavy man as his eyes scanned the hunter's figure.

"D-did he-"

"I'm fine. Just a heavy son of a bitch." Daryl says, as he stands up, rubbing his shoulders in pain.

Jesus wanted to hit him, right across the face, because he always talked to him about not wearing sleeveless shirts, that a simple piece of fabric might save your life. But he wasn't gonna say that now, even if he thinks that his eyes already said it, it wasn't going to make a difference. Daryl said he was fine, he knows how to take care of himself.

During the ride home, Jesus's hands are itching to check up on Daryl, his fingers are stinging to run themselves through his hair and pull him against him because  _fuck-_

He was so scared.

But he reminds himself that Daryl is fine, he tells himself that nothing is wrong with him and he shouldn't humiliate himself because Daryl is  _fine_.

"Let Denise check up on you." Jesus said, as they reached the gates of Alexandria.

"Told ya i'm fine."

"Just incase Daryl-"

"Man wouldya stop this? Makin' a big deal outta nothin'? Said m'fine." Daryl said, his voice rising. 

"Big deal? Dying in the middle of the night and ending up killing half of the people here _is_ a big deal." Jesus replied,

"thought it don't matter to you." Daryl said,

"You dying? It doesn't, just don't wanna deal with the aftermath of a whole bunch of other dead people." And fuck, he realized how harsh the words sounded as soon as they rolled off his tongue. Daryl bit his lower lip,

"f'course ya don't." He sounds so small when he says it, that Jesus's heart clenches.  He wants to open his mouth and say something, that he didn't mean it, but they're almost in front of the gates.

_fuck it._

"Fuck- just stop. Daryl."

"Let it go Paul, this shit's givin' me a headache." Daryl mumbles, and for once, Jesus doesn't like the fact that he's calling him Paul.

"No- Daryl. I do care. Fuck- i care so much and you know that- It's just-" Daryl stops the car. His hand moves to his temple.

"I just don't get why you're doing this." Paul's voice breaks,

"Or- maybe, maybe I do, but still- I just need you to break this, we either are or are not, i can't take this anymore because-" His voice breaks again, and Daryl doesn't want to move his eyes from the steering wheel because he knows Paul is crying.

"You just don't get to do this because you're  _scared-"_ Daryl cut him off,

"Ain't scared man-"

"No, shush. You're always quiet except when i want you to actually be quiet, then all of a sudden you're this raging storm that can't stop shouting and cussing. Fuck you okay, just shush and listen to what i have to say, then you get to talk." Paul exhaled,

"There's nothing wrong with being scared, i'm scared too, and i think i have the right to be scared more than you do after the things you keep doing.. I've been trying to be clear because I know it's hard for you, and I know that i should be grateful we've gotten this far but  _no_ Daryl _._ I'm not grateful because-"

"Because it hurts me so much, because i've never wanted anything like this but i'm torn between you actually wanting me back or not." The light sniffling has turned to hushed sobs now, and Daryl feels like throwing up because he managed to hurt the only thing he didn't want to hurt.

Fuck, he feels like an asshole.

"I-I'm sorry- fuck- I feel so stupid but its been bothering the fu-"

"Shut up,  _god-_ shut up Paul-" Paul looks startled for a second, but seems to relax when Daryl adds,

"I'm the asshole here. I'm the one who should be apologizing."

"J-just give me a second-" Daryl muttered, chewing on his lower lip as he tried to vocalize whatever storm was inside of him. Paul knows he isn't good with words.

"We should speak inside.." Paul mumbles, as he rubs his eyes, making sure there aren't any tears left. Daryl raises his head to find whoever was on guard duty opening the gate and walking towards them. Probably worried about the car that stopped all of a sudden.

"Y-eh. We'll speak inside." Daryl replies. They enter the gates, ignoring the funny look that Rick and Abraham was giving them. Daryl leaves the car, throwing a sentence at Rick before heading to his house. Paul hoped that was a silent 'follow me' .

"Everything okay?" Rick asks, Jesus gulps,

"Yeah. Uh- got some stuff are in the car, really gotta pee-" Jesus says, before running towards Daryl.

"Are we gonna talk now or should i leave and wait for you to come around, only to find out that you won't?" Paul says, sarcasm dripping from his tongue.

"Weren't ya jus' cryin'? Give me a minute to feel bad." Daryl mumbled.

"I wasn't crying." Paul replied defensively, cheeks tinting.

"Yeh, and I wasn't bein' an asshole." Daryl says, as he opens the door of the house, letting Paul inside.

"We were both being assholes, you still kind of are."

"Paul." Daryl's tone changed, and he pulled the younger scout to the couch beside him.

"I think we should let Denise check on you first." Paul said, nervous at their closeness.

"m'sorry." Daryl said, ignoring Paul's blabbering.

"What for?" Paul replied, smiling sarcastically,

"All of it."

"What is 'it'? You mean the part where we acted like lovers? Or when you discovered that that's not what you want and you panicked and ignored me for a couple of weeks? Or for ignoring me after that  _again_ , after i try to talk to you? Or after you acted very immature in front of everyone because you just  _can't_  keep the fact that you don't want anything to do with me to yourself?"

Daryl is clenching his jaw now, biting the inside of his cheek so hard he tastes blood.

"Yeh- all that." Paul swallows the lump at his throat, his eyes are burning.

"All of it? Even the lovers part?"

"M'not good for ya Paul, m'really not- Ya deserve be-"

"Don't do this, don't give me this stupid speech, you don't decide what's good for me, i know what that is." Paul says, heart clenching because-  _fuck!_

_He doesn't want this to end- not like this._

"I jus' didn't wanna hurt ya- I was scared and- I went so long without this and I don't wanna- jus' don't want us to fuck each other up." Paul's heart swells inside  him, he can literally feel it.

"We won't- If- If we're careful we won't Daryl, I don't know if you feel the s-" Daryl shuts him with his lips. He attaches them straight to Paul's, moving them as soon as he feels the other man relax. Daryl pushes him onto his back, laying him on the couch, before reconnecting their lips again.

"Daryl-mm." Paul whispers against the hunter's lips,

"Y-Yeah?"

"W-e need to talk, sex isn't gonna solve this." Paul's words slobber out of his mouth shakily, with Daryl's mouth on his neck, all the thinking is thrown out the window, and all he could think of is that sinful tongue that keeps rubbing onto all the right places.

"Ya think?" Daryl mumbles against his ear, before pulling the tip between his teeth, then licking it. Paul moans loudly, his head moving to the side, giving Daryl's tongue more space. His hands roam the hunters shoulders as he blindly checks them for any scratches, he was fine, he was okay, he was between his arms now.

Daryl pulls away, before helping Paul into a sitting position. He starts taking off the scout's coat, gently tugging it at the sides as he kissed whatever his mouth reached. He moves to the buttons of the white shirt next, unbuttoning them before dipping his head and kissing Paul's collarbone, then slowly descending to his chest.

Paul's hand moved to his lover's hair, wrapping around it as he arched into the tongue that enveloped the pink nipple. Daryl sucked on it, eventually letting it go with ease before licking the delicate skin around it, then moving to the one beside it. It drove Paul crazy,  and he knew Daryl was just getting started.

Paul felt the hunter's strong arms spreading his legs, before palming him through the thick fabric. He groaned as he felt the twitching of his hard cock. Gripping onto Daryl's shoulder, he noticed the other man wasn't naked yet.

"Take- take it off." Paul says, his breathing hurried.  His graceful fingers worked with the buttons quickly, and in seconds Daryl was half naked, shirt long forgotten on the wooden floor, lips attaching to his lover's.

"I missed you so much." Daryl mumbles again, the words vibrating into Paul's mouth, and  _shit_ \- this is what got Paul going crazy, the small sentences that Daryl would carelessly throw like this.

"I missed  _this_  so much, holding you in my arms.  _Kissing_  you." Daryl goes on again, and Paul feels like he'll cry because everything was so much.

"B-bedroom." Paul says, his trembling hands wrapping themselves on Daryl's neck for support. The hunter raises them off the couch, and Paul wraps his legs around Daryl's waist.

"Ya ain't exactly light y'know." Daryl says, smiling onto the grin that formed on Paul's lips.

"Body-shaming? how rude of you Daryl." Paul says, smirking. Daryl swings the door open with his leg, before pushing Paul onto the mattress slowly, and pushing their lips again. Paul could sense it, how slow Daryl was kissing him, like he was pushing all his emotions into this kiss, like he was trying to tell him everything he'd never been able to say.

Daryl laid Paul down on his back, before working with the buttons on his pants. Paul arched his back, helping the hunter in pulling the layers of clothes off of him. He was laying naked under him now, and Daryl shamelessly stared- for a long time.

"Are you okay?" Paul asked, his brown mop of hair scattered on the white pillow, some strands falling on his eyes.

"M'fine." He mumbled, before moving the strand of hair from Paul's eyes. Daryl leaned down and kissed the other's ear, before whispering, his voice so gentle,

"Told ya how much i'love your eyes before?" Paul felt goosebumps rising on his skin, and he pulled Daryl flush against him, before arching his back, making sure Daryl felt the hard cock underneath him.

"Hmm- have i told you, how much i love everything about you before?" Paul whispered back, before kissing Daryl's neck, and sucking on it, marking the flesh.

Daryl pulled away, instantly moving north, his tongue tracing the inches of skin. He wants to make Paul feel good, he wants him to twist and turn and squirm and writhe underneath him as his lover reaches his peak, only to feel Daryl pulling away to tease him, to make his body crave the hunter's touch, to hear him say it  _loud and clear again_.  _One more time._

His lips wrapped around the younger man's cock, already leaking. He heard the gasp, and he felt the curled toes wrapping around his shoulders. He was bobbing his head rhythmically, meeting Paul's thrusts.

"D-Daryl-" His voice was high-pitched, and Daryl knew that he was close. He swallowed around the length one more time, before pulling it out of his mouth. Paul's hand moved relentlessly to find the lube, instantly pushing himself to sitting position as he started helping Daryl out of his pants.

"I might just come from a hair tug right now so please hurry." Paul said, lips swollen, pupils dilated and eyes dark with lust.

Daryl replied with a chuckle.

He was out of his clothes in seconds, and after he prepped Paul's entrance steadily, making sure he was ready for him, even after the cries of pushing it inside him already, he made sure he didn't hurt him, because he doesn't think he can do that again.

After stroking himself with enough lube, he pushed the thick erection into the tight hole.

"Fuck.." Daryl whispered, already feeling like the heat around him was pushing him to the edge.

" _God._ Move, Daryl." He started moving slow, each thrust going deeper, hitting that right spot in Paul that left him aching and screaming for more. It was different, it was so different because neither of them was holding back, words rolling off their tongues, whatever were the words, they just came with ease.

Paul didn't know what made him say it, maybe they were Daryl's lips, how they kissed him over and over and  _over_ , how they pulled on his tongue as the hunter's rugged fingers wrapped themselves around Paul's neck and pulled him closer. Maybe it was the way his other hand was rolling his right nipple slowly, and then going to his erect cock to rub the tip of his fingers around the swollen slit. Maybe it was the cock that was pounding into him, with careful force, too careful for his liking. He wanted Daryl to go harder, he wanted him to fuck him into the mattress, and his horny brain didn't stop him from moaning those words.

"Daryl- baby please. Fuck. _Please go harder."_

Daryl doesn't argue, and he thrusts even harder when Paul cried out the words he's been dying to hear,

"I love you,  _i love you so much!"_ Daryl's cock twitches inside him, and then they're climaxing together as Daryl repeats the words with the same intensity- if not more. It's passionate and spirited and powerful and lively. It's perfect.

_So, so perfect._

Daryl pulls out, and lays next to Paul as he gathers him in his arms.

"So.. you mean it?" Paul asked, smirking as he bit his lip, turning his head so he can look at a flushed Daryl.

"Why would I say it if I don't." Daryl mumbles. Burying his face in the crook of his lover's neck.

"Knew for some time, s'just, didn't wanna rui-" Paul shushed him with a peck, before whispering as he turned his whole body towards him,

"You know, technically, you're the one who said the 'love' word first." Daryl hummed, smiling,

"How's that?"

"Do you hear yourself when we have sex? Blabbering about shit you love about me." Paul said, blushing a little. Daryl pushed the hair off his face, as he wrapped his arm around the scout's waist.

"So, we're figuring out this together?" He mumbled against Paul's forehead. He felt him nod, as he took his hand and intertwined their fingers.

"Yeah, we will."

It was hours later, when Paul was sitting on the hunter's lap and kissing him, bodies itching for a round two, when they heard the throat-clearing.

Paul was the one that broke the kiss, turning his head to the door they completely forgot about leaving open, only to find Rick standing there, hands crossed onto his chest, with a wide grin plastered on his face.

"So, ain't goin' with Rovia huh?" He said, imitating Daryl's accent.

"Shit."


End file.
